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Home Wellness Kit A Top Seller
STAMFORD, CONN. -- World Wrestling Entertainment's home wellness testing kit continues to rank as the company's top selling piece of merchandise.
"It shot to the top after its release a few weeks ago and sales haven't let up at all," said WWE SHOP Spokesperson Mark Carny. "Nothing has come close to matching it in sales, not even the new John Cena Chain Gang Jock Strap(©®™). We're committed to the wellness of our fans and it is good to see them in return taking interest in their own personal health. This is the very same program we use to keep our talent healthy and natural."
"I think it's a great product," remarked high school football coach Biff Biffson. "My guys are always jacked and our rivals like to throw around accusations. Now I've got a way to prove that the freakishly huge bodies on my team have been achieved through natural methods."
"Next season is going to be great," said Vinny Masters, a member of Biffson's team. "Last year, coach took us on special trips to Mexico to get our vitamins. Dude, I was unsure about putting some of that stuff down there into my body. That's right, I'm talking about the water! Now with the wellness kit all we have to do is call one of the WWE approved doctors and they send us all kinds of cool medicine. These are real doctors and a doctor's job is to make people healthy and crap. Our test results show this. Die nerds!"
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